Why you need a Motte and Bailey
Let's say you're tired of people coming to your door. The paperboy wanting paid. Old Mrs. Smith who lost her damn cat again. Someone borrowing sugar. That kid raising money to go to band camp. Jeez. Will people never leave you alone? The answer is a Motte and Bailey.
Five easy steps to build a Motte and Bailey :
1.Using an excavator, build two mounds next to your house. Now would be a good time to pull up those overgrown shrubs from your neighbor's yard that block your view of the morning sun. And you may as well topple that ugly shed next door made of leftover siding that sticks out like a sore thumb and needs demolishing anyway.
Make one mound really high and really steep so kids selling stupid things will get out of breath trying to climb it. 2.Construct a tower on the top and move your comfy chair in here. Now you will be able to see those nasty people before they can get to your sidewalk even. This is your Motte.
3.Once you catch your breath, build a smaller mound. This one will serve as the foundation of your bailey. Now dig yourself a ditch around the base of the mound. You may later choose to fill this in with water and koi. Or piranha.
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4.
Set up your bailey—which is now safe and sound inside the ditch—in the design you choose. This is where your people (you do have people don't you?) will fight off the visitors so you can sit in your comfy chair up in the tower.
Be sure to include barracks for your people to sleep, stables for their horses, livstock (you may not be able to leave your compound for months at a time when it is surrounded by angry neighbors) and buildings to store up wartime amounts of grain and beer and toilet paper. 5.Add a large wooden gate that has a secret password. Keep changing the password.
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